Some of the tweets that struck me from #yesallwomen
when you can’t draw anything but eyes
Listen to Can’t Take My Eyes Off You while looking at these pictures do it now don’t ask just do it
Clearly she wears those short skirts and skimpy tank tops because she wants the d. and by d I mean vitamin d. she wants to soak up as much sun as she can. because revealing clothes are not an invitation for sex u prick
if ur hair covers ur boobs u have mermaid hair and u are a mermaid i dont make the rules
As a man with a hairy chest, I was very, very confused by this post for about ten seconds.
You are a mermaid, sir
"Ace Hardware: No screwing, just lots of screws."
"Ace Hardware: Nail your roof, not your partner."
"Ace Hardware: For when it really is just a hammer in your pocket"
One of my friends wanted to see a photomanip of the ace hardware logo in ace flag colors, and then I thought of these terrible puns, so here you go.
At first I wasn’t going to reblog this but then I saw it again and just started laughing
my two favorite things: asexuality, and puns
and those puns are literally the best
I NEED more asexual puns
those are indeed the best
"Ace Hardware: Lube for your motor, not your junk"
"Ace Hardware: Erecting buildings, not your penis"
"Ace Hardware: Where nuts aren’t genetalia"
"Ace Hardware: The hammer is not our penis. Its just a hammer."
"Ace Hardware: Where muff, is short for muffler"
"Ace Hardware: Yes that is a hammer, but we’re still happy to see you."
"Ace Hardware: You can get Off™ in our repellent aisle”
My little sister is a really pretty girl and she gets dick pics all the time from annoying boys, so being the girl she is, she started using them as blackmail.
She now has about 30 boys doing her bidding because one stepped out of line and she got someone to print out 500 copies of the photo and mailed it to his family.
My sister is 16 and she’s running a black mail Mafia.
She’s going places.
i was in the car with my mum today and she stopped reversing and looks at me and was like “is that a hickey ??? On ur neck ?????? did a boy do that to u ????????? i thought u’d be alone forever on ur laptop.” the hickey was a bruise from where i accidentally shot myself in the neck with a nerf dart while trying 2 recreate a scene in star trek. my life is so pathetic even mum wants me 2 get some
girl: so u wanna fuck with the lights on or off bae?
me: *thinks about the electricity bill*
me: in the dark ;)
Alternative phrases to “calm your tits”
I can’t believe our water supply is in the hands of a c-lister